A Pictures Worth
by Kahlan Cypher
Summary: After an intense encounter with Cuddy House leaves PPTH no one knows where he is or how to find him. Then Cuddy starts receiving packages that she has no idea what do with. Eventually she sees them as the clue to finding him, but does he want to be found?


**Disclaimer: **Property of David, Katie and Bad Hat Harry, but I can wish can't I?

**A/N:** This can be read as a stand alone or the sequel to Priorities... whichever you prefer. I didn't mean for it to be a sequel but since my first reader thought it was... I guess it can be. All spelling mistakes belong to me as it has not been beta-ed and rating will change for the next chapter... if you guys want it to I haven't actually decided yet

* * *

**A Pictures Worth**

Lisa Cuddy was seated behind her old med school desk looking through the patient files on her desk when her assistant walked into her office, holding a fresh batch of patient files for the Dean to sign off on and file away. She watched as the young woman approached her desk and deposited the new files onto the tabletop, and that was when the hospital administrator noticed the bright pink envelope sticking out from somewhere in the middle of the stack of folders. She was ready to walk out of her office, leaving everything as it was to go home to her waiting daughter, who she got to spend more time with now that she had more of it, and while she loved spending every free minute she had with her nine month old child, Cuddy hated that it had come at such a price. She shook her head as though it would dispel the thoughts from her mind and ran a tired hand down her face, knowing it would not do her any good to think of him, he was already three months long gone…

With her curiosity now aroused, Cuddy pulled the offending envelope from its hiding place, turned it over, only to find her name scrawled on the top and opened it, wanting to see its contents. She tilted the blue envelope slightly and stared in surprise as a bundle of photographs slid out of the cover. With careful fingers Cuddy lifted the stack and arranged them into a neat pile before she browsed through them admiring the breathtaking sights the photographer had captured on paper. They were pictures of tourist attractions of the various states, and while Cuddy had seen a few of them personally, she was too intrigued to not see the others. A picture of the Golden Gate Bridge over the lake in San Francisco, the famous Hollywood sign in Los Angeles, The Empire State Building and The Stature of Liberty in New York, The White House in Washington DC, the Blue Ridge Mountains in Virginia. She was mildly surprised to see the picture of the front entrance of the University of Michigan Med School too, and then a few other pictures from other states. She tried to make sense of them but it was of no use, she realised, because there was nothing that linked the pictures to each other.

Once she was done looking at the photographs, Cuddy once again piled them neatly and slid them back into their envelope and placed the envelope in the last drawer in her desk. She then gathered up her stuff and a few files she needed to work on for the next budget meeting and rapidly walked out of her office, knowing that if she did not leave when she had decided to, she would leave only when all the files on her desk were signed, sealed and packed away. The hospital administrator had no idea how fast she had reached home, because one minute she was in the parking lot at the hospital and the next she was parked in the driveway of her home, her car engine still running. Her head was still swimming with the images of the pictures she had seen in her office earlier that evening, thinking if they were linked to each other and if they were, how was she supposed to find the damn connection? She was brought out of her thoughts when she heard a knock on her window and Cuddy turned to see Lucas holding a toothily grinning Rachel looking directly at her clapping her hands excitedly.

The sight of her daughter smiling excitedly at her prompted Cuddy to leave the sanctuary of her Lexus and she took her daughter from Lucas as soon as she had stepped out of her car. She hugged the little girl to her chest and deposited a soft kiss on the top of Rachel's head, taking in her unique baby scent as she did so. She had almost forgotten that Lucas was still standing outside with them, until she heard him clearing his throat and offered her a loud hello. Cuddy offered him a quiet hi in response and then went to enter her home, with Rachel still grasped firmly in her arms and Lucas trailing three feet behind her. She settled Rachel on her hip and walked slowly to her bedroom, the only thought running through her mind that she did not intend spending the rest of the evening playing with her little bundle of joy in her work attire. Cuddy deposited Rachel in the centre of her queen sized bed and proceeded to choose out a set of casual clothes, consisting of a black track pants with a white strip running down the length of it, and a matching sweater to go. After she was done changing her clothes she once again picked up her daughter and returned to her living room, only to see it the settings had been changed.

Lucas had taken the time she used to change, to set a romantic candle lit dinner table for the two of them, and while Cuddy knew she should have felt pleased and excited about sharing the meal and the rest of the evening with him, she found that she simply could not do it. Before he could do anymore, Cuddy stopped him, knowing it was better to stop him then let him believe she was okay with whatever it was he was trying to do.

"Lucas, I've had a crappy day at work and I'm afraid I'm not going to be good company," she explained and he looked at her as though she had grown another head.

"Lisa, it's a simple dinner, and besides I thought it would do us a bit of good to spend some quality time together," he said as he bobbed his eyebrows, and Cuddy felt the anger rising in her. The only thing he wanted was to get laid, and she was certainly not in the mood for his two minute trysts. She would still be warming up and he would already be asleep next to, his energy all spent on foreplay. No, he was definitely not spending the night in her bed.

"Not tonight," she continued as though he hadn't said anything.

Two hours after he had grudgingly left, Cuddy locked all the doors and closed all the windows, before making her way back to her room and taking Rachel with her. She knew sleep wouldn't find her easily tonight and there was no reason Rachel could not sleep in her bed, so Cuddy tucked her daughter in and then climbed into bed herself pulling Rachel's tiny body closer to hers, protectively snaking one hand over the little girl's small frame.

* * *

The Dean of Medicine was showing the last lot of new donors to the hospital around the facility explaining to them, in great detail, what each of the departments did and why their donations were so greatly needed and appreciated. She had taken them through the lower floors, the only one still left was the left wing on the forth floor. Cuddy had tried to avoid going to the fourth floor as much as she possibly could, but she knew it was pointless trying that now, as she would be bombarded with questions she had no answers to. So she steeled herself and took one small step at a time, all the while keeping her breath under control. Before she knew it, she was standing outside his office, which was not closed and unused, except for the adjoining boardroom where his disciples still congregated for some insane reason or the other. She had almost made it past the glass walls of his office, when one of the donors stopped and questioned her.

"What department is this, and why is everything all covered up?" the elderly, grey haired woman asked and Cuddy felt a lump rise in her throat.

"It used to be the diagnostics department, but the doctor in charge had to take a leave of absence and I haven't found a replacement yet," Cuddy said, not sure if the woman actually believed her or not.

"Do you think they'll be coming back anytime soon, seeing as there's no name on the door?" the woman continued and Cuddy could feel the tears starting to sting in the corners of her eyes,

"I'm not sure," she whispered, and then turned on her heel and started walking once again, not waiting for the woman to ask her any more questions.

When she was finally done, an hour later, Cuddy retreated to her office, locked her doors and shut the blinds, not wanting anyone to disturb her until she was ready to face whatever else was thrown her way. She just needed a time out for a few minutes. Cuddy hadn't been to the fourth floor on over three months, and seeing House's office as it was today had certainly jolted her. Someone had removed his name from his door, and while she would not ask him, Cuddy knew Wilson had something to do with that. It was as though he wanted to remove all traces of himself from her life, like he was never there. The sound of her phone ringing alerted Cuddy that this was not the time or the place for her to be thinking about House, and while she really wanted him to walk through her doors at that moment, she knew better than to ask for things she knew weren't possible. Cuddy answered on the fourth ring and got up to unlock her doors when she heard her assistant inform her that Wilson was waiting to see her in her outer office.

She opened the doors, to see a grim faced Wilson looking back at her and her first thought was that House had somehow managed to do something stupid and insane and that had endangered his life once again. She wanted to ask him to spit out whatever he had to say so that he could get it over with and she could find a way to deal with it, but Cuddy bit her tongue to keep herself from talking.

"I wanted to be the one to tell you that the Booth kid didn't make it," he said softly, his eyes downcast and while Cuddy knew she should've felt hurt and sorry for Kevin Booth's parents, she could not help the feeling of relief that swept through her when she realised that House was not actually in any danger, or not that she knew of. He was the one who always said no news was better than bad news… right?

A short uncomfortable silence followed before Wilson asked her, "Have you heard from anything from him?" and Cuddy shook her head to indicate that she had not.

"You?" she asked hopefully but Wilson copied her action and Cuddy let out a disappointed sigh. Clearly House did not want to be found, usually Wilson knew where he was but even now the oncologist had no idea where his best friend was.

They stood together for a few more minutes when a child came running up to them and stopped in front of Cuddy. He gave her a bright smile and offered her the package he was holding in his small hands. Cuddy kindly accepted the package and the boy ran off before she could thank him, let alone ask him who he was. She turned the pale green envelope in her hands, looking to see if there was a return address or something on it, but all Cuddy found was her name in small print on the front of the envelope. Wilson eyed it suspiciously but did not ask, and Cuddy didn't feel the need to share with him either. Taking her silence as his cue, Wilson exited her outer office and slowly walked to the nurses' station where he picked up a patient file and called out the patient, ready to start his clinic hours.

Cuddy once again retreated to her office and sat down at her desk, and cautiously slit open the top of the envelope and just as the last time; she tilted it a bit, allowing whatever it was to spill out of the pale green covering.

This time pictures of Europe and Britain graced her desk. A close up of Big Ben stared up at her, as well as one of kids feeding pigeons at Trafalgar Square. There was one of 10 Downing Street, the White House counterpart, as well as a few of spectators watching the English version on Football, which was better known as soccer at Old Trafford in Manchester. A few of the Stonehenge followed, with ones of the Leaning Tower of Pisa, The Vatican City, which Cuddy didn't know why they sent that particular one to her, seeing as she was Jewish. The last one though was the one that pulled at her heartstrings. It was a photograph of a very much in love couple kissing in the elevator, going to the top or bottom, of the Eiffel Tower, unaware of the person capturing their timeless moment on paper. Cuddy gathered up the pictures and hastily shoved them into the last drawer in her desk, just as she did with the first set, irritated that even with the second batch she still could not fit the pieces together…

* * *

Almost 8 months had passed before Cuddy received a new violet shaded envelope on her desk. She had almost forgotten about the first two but the arrival of the third peaked her interest once again and she opened the envelope with trembling hands. Cuddy was once again treated to amazing pictures. Snapshots of the Pyramids of Gaza graced her desk, as well as ones of people enjoying themselves on a cruise ship on the Nile River looked up at her. Also in that batch were the gorillas in the Republic of Congo, and she wondered what it was that she had done for this person to risk their life getting these pictures for her. Still, she looked through them and came across the Victoria Falls, the Kingston Statue and a few of Table Mountain in South Africa. They were all breathtakingly beautiful. Cuddy had never seen nature at its purest and she decided that she wanted to show these to Rachel once her daughter was a bit older and she could understand these things.

Granted she had celebrated her daughter's second birthday a few weeks ago, Cuddy knew Rachel was still too young to understand what was going on and how incomplete her mother's life felt without her annoying yet endearing diagnostician. Cuddy had organized a small party for her closest friend and family and they had kept the celebration small. Much like the Simchat Bat, Cuddy kept one eye and one ear on the door hoping the cranky diagnostician would come, even if it was just to annoy her or rile her up, but he didn't and Cuddy was left heart-broken and disappointed.

Rachel was growing up way too fast and even though Cuddy spent more time with her, she always felt like she was missing out on her daughter's life. The little girl had also begun talking in almost full sentences and Cuddy had been overjoyed when she heard Rachel talking to someone over the phone. Cuddy returned home from work one night, to the usual sounds of Rachel babbling to Lucas about something she clearly thought the man understood but he obviously didn't, when she heard Lucas stop Rachel mid sentence.

"Rachel," he called her and Cuddy watched the pair in silence as the little girl turned her attention from the toy in her hand to the man who had called her.

Lucas then pointed to a picture of Cuddy on the coffee table and called out "mommy," which Rachel understood and repeated.

He then pointed at Rachel and called her by her name and Rachel tried to say her name as well but eventually settled in "Raysh" when she could not say it.

Cuddy heaved in a deep breath, not knowing what he was going to say next but she knew it was going to be a monumental step for her daughter and then her.

The PI finally pointed to himself and said "daddy," smiling at the little girl. Rachel, however, looked up at him confusedly and then she frowned causing Lucas to frown. Cuddy watched as her daughter processed what had just been said waiting for Rachel to respond to Lucas.

"No!" Rachel shouted in Lucas's direction and turned her back to him. He tried to talk to her again but the little girl simply turned a deaf ear toward him. She was clearly not interested in what he had to say.

The mother in her let out the breath she didn't realise she was holding when she heard Rachel deny that Lucas was her father, though she didn't know whether to feel relieved or worried that Rachel still refused to acknowledge Lucas as a father figure. It was not like Cuddy had a string of men Rachel could actually refer to as Daddy. When she saw Lucas try to get Rachel to call him daddy once again, Cuddy stepped into the room and picked up her daughter from the floor and pressed a soft kiss to her cheek.

"Hey sweetheart," she greeted and Rachel looked relieved that she was saved by her mother… and Lucas was not impressed.

"Lisa, I think…" he started but she cut him off.

"She's still a bit young to understand Lucas, and you shouldn't force her because you're not her father," she said. She knew it would hurt, but it was true, while he did help her with Rachel, Lucas was not her father. He was around because he wanted to be with Cuddy, and Rachel was part and parcel of Cuddy and he had to take her too, and they both knew this.

"Fine…" he huffed angrily and stormed out of the lounge…

Cuddy didn't see him for a few days after that.

* * *

Another four packages arrived within the next nine months, and while Cuddy was happy someone was sending her these photographs she was becoming frustrated at not finding whatever it was that they wanted her to find. The hospital administrator had gone through the last four stacks of pictures and had seen nothing but tourist sights of Madagascar, Mauritius, the Seychelles, then China, Hong Kong, Thailand, Singapore, India and Sri Lanka which was then followed a few months later by ones of Australia and New Zealand and finally photographs of South America. She had as before, shoved the envelopes into her draw and forgot about them, her mind busy with documents that needed to be signed, patient folders that needed to be checked and galas to be planned.

Lucas had calmed down after his disastrous attempt at getting Rachel to call him daddy but Cuddy noticed he seemed to dislike the little girl slightly. Before, he was the one who would calm her down when she was crying; he would put her to sleep or play with her when Cuddy was busy with work at home, now he simply left the toddler to her own devices. He would let her cry until she was tired of it, or let Cuddy put her to bed and he would not help her even when she was having a hard time with Rachel.

They were lying in bed one night, after a trying and tiring day with a sick Rachel when she felt Lucas's hand on her waist. Cuddy didn't dare move, hoping Lucas would believe she was asleep, but the man didn't take the hint. She felt as his hand moved to lift her T-shirt and slid under her camisole up to her chest. He skimmed his thumb over her bra clad breast and Cuddy closed her eyes automatically as a reaction. They flew open a few seconds later though when instead of seeing Lucas, she had seen House's piercing blue orbs looking back at her and she gasped for breath.

She pulled away from him as fast as she could still breathing hard.

"Lisa, are you okay?" she hear him ask and she nodded her head.

"Come back to bed then," he said and Cuddy looked at him as though he had grown a second head.

"I can't Lucas. I can't do this with you," she heard herself say.

"I thought we were trying."

"I'm sorry," she mumbled "you need to leave."

"He's not even here and you're still hanging onto him," Lucas yelled and Cuddy flinched at the tone of his voice.

"This has nothing to do with him. I haven't seen him in almost three years thanks to you," she spat back, the fire was back in her.

"Please, we haven't had sex in almost two of them." he roared.

"Yeah, did you ever think that maybe it was because you never lasted long enough for me to even start?"

The PI looked at her as though he had been slapped across the face.

"You should leave," Cuddy continued, her tone leaving no space for debate, "and I don't want you to come back."

* * *

When she had not received another package in seven months Cuddy thought that she was done with them. Two days later however, her assistant walked into her office and handed her a package much like the first one. Cuddy took it from the younger woman and wasted no time in opening it. Thinking there was nothing she would find, Cuddy went through them as quickly as she could, but paused when she was almost three quarters of the way through.

There was a difference in this picture; the focus of it was a little girl who was happily smiling at someone standing just outside of the camera's view. The child looked to be about five years old, with dark hair and dark eyes, dressed warmly in a pair of red track pants and a matching sweater which was appropriate for the weather they had been experiencing. Cuddy took her time looking at the next few and she realised that they were taken there in Princeton, as some of the places looked familiar to her. There were pictures of street names, restaurants and other inane places as well, but Cuddy examined each one, knowing she was going to find something. Her breath caught in her throat however, when she saw the last picture in her hands.

Cuddy hadn't seen him in almost three and a half years and she did not realise how much she had actually missed looking at him until she saw the gloss photograph in her hands. There he was, leaning against the doorframe of a house she didn't recognise as his, smiling naughtily at the camera, as though he had just found out the greatest secret in the world and he was not about to share it with anyone. Cuddy felt the ache in her chest intensify as all her feelings for this man rushed to the forefront, making their presence known. It was only when she felt the warm tears falling onto her hand did she realise she was actually crying and she made a decision then and there that she was going to try and find him, no matter how long it took her, or how hard he was trying to remain hidden from her. She picked up the glossy prints that were scattered on her desk and looked through them for a second time, and this time she noted the small details that she had missed the first time around. There were small clues hidden in them that would lead her to him, and for the first time in a long time, Cuddy felt the thrill she usually felt when House was still around.

The hospital administrator picked up her phone from her desk and asked her assistant to get Dr Wilson to her office as soon as he was free. When Wilson eventually came to see her, Cuddy was having second thoughts about telling him that she had an idea of where their best friend was. In the end though, she knew if Wilson was the one that had found House she would have wanted him to tell her. After she had told Wilson of her discovery, minus the fact that she had been getting packages of pictures from an unknown source, Cuddy asked him to stand in for her as the hospital administrator as she was going to see House. Wilson, his shock at finally hearing House was okay simply nodded his head in agreement and Cuddy wasted no time as she gathered up whatever she thought she would need and headed home to get her daughter before she went to see House.

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I already have an idea of how I want them to meet, but the idea was better in my head then when I put it on paper. If you guys have any suggestions please let me know all ideas are more than welcome.

Also please tell me if you want me to keep the rating as it is or would you like it to change in the next chapter...

Thanks and hope you enjoyed reading


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